For an outsider it will take few years to understand and adjust with Indian beliefs and attitudes. No doubt, its our culture which has created a unique space in international level. But few beliefs have no grounds and no creators. Condemning widow remarriage is one of those kinds. Many times we question our parents, why we should we practice a custom? Answer will be, “It is practiced from centuries”.
No one knows why widows should not be remarried. The social reformers like Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Annie Besent were the first to encourage widow marriage. In South India, women do not wear colourful clothes, flowers after the death of their husband. It is not husband which is the reason for life. A widow entering into temple is criticised by fundamentalists.
Kudroli Gokarnatheshwara Temple, Mangalore is the first temple to have a special pooja by widows in the season of Navarathri (The holy 9 days for Hindus). Why can’t a widow worship Lord in temple?
The Mangala Sutra, Kumkum, red sarees, nose ring are making her beautiful or pushing her into hell? When husband passes away she has to burn her glow of life to get him a place in heaven. The false assumption of Moksha(Salvation) bringing down the status of every women. Its daughter who gives a meaning to life. The shaving of head is the height of cruelty on a woman. Its believed that hair stimulates the sexual feelings in ones’ body. To avoid a man getting attracted to widow, her head is shaved called “Mundan”. The silence of her gave rights to men to take any decision. Yes! The situation of widows has been improved in many parts of India. There is monthly remuneration by Government to widows’ well being. But the attitude towards widow remarriage is very poor. Few say yes for widow marriage, but again restrict them to marry a widower. So, to make a man’s life better she has to marry him. Why not a unmarried man? Small changes in the ways of thinking can make big difference towards the development of women community.